I have been struggling with the realization that I, in actual fact am not a princess. I try to replay those indoctrinating tapes my mother equipped me with as a child- “You’re my little princess!”, “How’s my princess?” blah blah blah! I’ve only ever worn plastic pink tiaras, it’s a far cry from shiny diamonds. I to my own private, now public embarrassment spent my evening watching Youtube videos of the basically royal wedding of Pippa Middleton. The videos from the outside of the church walls gave little to no clues on what fancy, aristocratic things went on inside. The videos were all of the same things! How many times and from how many angles was I going to watch the Duchess shush little Prince George? It was akin to my obsession with the tv series Say yes to the dress or every Oscar de la Renta wedding dress ever made. I wasn’t longing to marry my Prince but rather to be the Princess Bride.
So, now that I have been slapped by reality and I am painfully aware that everyone doesn’t get the coveted title of King, Princess or Queen. How do you get over the need to be somebody “important” to the inner workings of the world? I haven’t the foggiest idea! The aspiration itself is awfully useless as no one person makes the world go round. I think it maybe love that spins that axis. In the mean time, it feels electric grabbing for the next best title, iconic. No royal blood required! It’s been added to the list of words we carelessly toss around, seemingly devaluing its meaning, like love.
My more intellectual, forward thinking, feminist self urges me to cease and desist this behaviour. It’s not always easy to consciously mould and shape your life while you’re actively living it. It gets dusty, you start to choke and then forget what the yuck you were making in the first place! I had to click the unfollow button on some young, rich, famous, “iconic” people to keep myself grounded! I refuse to fall down the rabbit hole of frivolous, exorbitant desires! In effect killing myself to “really live.” Working hard, hustling to have too much and give too little. I want something else, I’m not sure what it is. The path is hidden, the grass outside the castle is overgrown and nothing is clear! Luckily, I’m not a princess and getting dirty is an option!
The Potter, The Icon